Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize