How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
