I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
