Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
