I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize