"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
handjob tips. give me some.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
