You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
