Don't you send me to vm
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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