He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
