idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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