u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
