I want to have your abortion
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
