There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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