my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize