Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
