A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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