I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize