It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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