'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My underwear smells like fireworks.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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