I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
