Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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