I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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