Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She announced her abortion via fbk
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
