youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
