Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
