Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
