My nipple is on Facebook.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
