Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
