We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
