bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
