I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
