Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
