I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so explain again why im purple
no
accomplished twins. life is a go
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
