North Korea, Best Korea!
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize