No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
