oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
