I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
time to smoke my breakfast
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
