The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Randomize
