umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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