K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
