Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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