Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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