this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
