Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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