I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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