thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Where did you get a picture of my penis
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
