Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
