i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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