I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
