you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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