I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
