fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
