PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
