dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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