maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize