kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
