I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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