another moral hangover. fuck.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize