he wants to bone in the snuggie
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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